This conversation has taken me this long to write because I didn’t think I’d be able to fully articulate its importance to me. But I have waited long enough:

It was during that time when I was going through a storm. Confused and lost. I had many whys that will never be answered, and a soul that was restless.

He listened to it all. (even those days when we seem to be having the same conversations over and over) And I remember asking in despair, the very same name of this blog, how do I build a life? More sobs as I realized I didn’t have a clue how to recover from this. I just wanted things to be the way they were before.

And he laughed at my tears. (listen carefully) Said he wouldn’t dare imagine knowing what makes a life, let alone be able to see which pieces to pick up. That in your fallancy of “knowing”, if you keep picking up the same pieces, you are moulding the outcomes to eventually always turn out the same. I rattled out things I thought were the building blocks - family, friends, job - to which he pointed out these change throughout ones’ life.

He asked, “Does this life need to be the same as it was before?”

That question has been staying with me for weeks, answered as I go along. And now I know, probably not.